Advice from our Forefathers

I had the pleasure of visiting Monticello for the Thanksgiving Holidays and picked up some of Thomas Jefferson's Wisdom to pass along to parents and Gen Y.
Thomas Jefferson's Ten Rules

1. Never put off tomorrow what you can do today.
2. Never trouble another for what you can do yourself.
3. Never spend your money before you have earned it.
4. Never buy what you don't want because it is cheap.
5. Pride costs more than hunger, thirst and cold.
6. We seldom repent of having eaten too little.
7. Nothing is troublesome that we do willingly.
8. How much pain the evils have cost us that never happened.
9. Take things always by the smooth handle.
10. When angry, count ten before you speak, if very angry, count a hundred.


Happy Thanksgiving

Gen Y - Coming Home for Turkey

What is your experience of this Thanksgiving with Gen Y? So, they're on their way home for some of your famous turkey dinner with all the trimming. If it's the first Thanksgiving home visit, expect 10 to 20 loads of wash, sleeping in till noon, after all, they just finished midterms, they're tired. Some families won't be getting homecomings, it may be the first time they go to a significant others family, or they just can't get away, or I have heard this, they miss their flight!?! Some employers tell me they are a bit surprised when their new, fresh out of college employees think that they will be receiving time off, like their still in school, for all holidays.(yikes, some of us seasoned employees think it's our turn first) So, what is your experience of this Thanksgiving with Gen Y?

Grateful for my Crazy Life

I was teaching a class on gratitude today and it struck me, "Am I really all that grateful?" One of the other teachers in the class said she had done and exercise once where she went to lunch by herself and for one hour tried to notice all that works in her life. The big and small, all that works. Even if you twist a doorknob and it opens the door. I realized how much of my time I spend simply focusing on what does not work. Maybe these are the big things, but still I have to ask,"how balanced is it if I only notice what does not work?" So, for this holiday, I have a plan to notice what works, the big and the small. (I don't need to worry about noticing the problems, I do this well) Chris Guillebeau wrote on his blog "Gratitude is a balanced response to a life filled with highs and lows". The Art of Nonconformity Happy Thanksgiving

"HELP! My Parents Need to Read Your Blog"

So we got a comment from a kid, maybe it's your kid or maybe you're that kid,it read something like, "I wish my parents would do some of what you say". Listen here both kids and parents...It takes two to tango (tango - a dance). Some of the parents reading this blog are going to get it and make changes and work on launching their child differently, others are not. Whether your parents get it or don't get it, launching is ultimately a child's job. Whether your parents are great or stink, it's your life...make it work for you. Many thousands of generations have gone through terrible parenting styles, harsh cultural conditions, and they survived. Kids can turn into adults despite bad parenting and sometimes, no amount of good parenting will turn a kid around. (I have talked to great parents with really problematic kids and vise versa) What you do, what you say, how you act and react are within your control and your responsible for. That's it. What other say, do, how they act react it tells you a lot about them, very little about you. Grow up, become your own person, with your own ideas...you don't need your parents permission to be responsible. They will probably even respect you for it. If not, and this does happen, do it anyway, because it's the best thing for you.

Teens: Do They Have a Brain?

"From the ages of about 14-16, people lose about 20% of the synapses in the brain." This probably makes sense to you if you have a teenager at home. "Among the last areas to become fully wired are the frontal & temporal lobes. Those parts of the brain are significant because they control abstract thinking, impulsiveness and emotion." Again, if you live with a teenager this is very apparent in you house. Hang on tight, most research now indicates that the frontal and pre-frontal lobes are fine...at about 22 - 25 yrs old. YIKES! (these quotes are from Mental Health Problems Begin in the Teen Brain, T. Hesman.)

21 - Not a Drinking Day

I remember turning 21, most folks seem to. My older roommate, and by older I mean already 21, convinced me to go get a drink with her @ midnight. I did, one drink, that was it. The bartender said it was on the house. I really didn't feel like drinking. So we went home and had ice cream. This seems to be the same experience I hear in session from a lot of newly turned 21 year old's. By the time you turn 21, you have already had too much to drink that you don't feel like drinking...a lot of this might be due to the fact that the pre-frontal cortex is starting to kick in and logic and reason make over drinking a poor choice, now easily ruled out. The age of 21 is now getting some press as to whether it's the right age or not. Growing up in my Italian American household, my family always thought that this country was pretty uptight about drinking, making it more attractive to underage drinkers. This philosophy was right for me, maybe not right for all. Something to think about...

New Frontiers

Annette and I spoke to 200 professionals on Friday in Memphis who clinically work with teens/young adults. Our core message was primarily encouraging them to join the new world of texting and MySpace. When you really stop to consider the fact that most adolescents have far surpassed their parents technologically, you can begin to feel a bit uneasy. There they are, with brains under construction, out exploring new frontiers without any adult guidance or chaperoning. When parents or professionals refuse to learn to text or have no idea what "MySpace or Facebook" is really all about, they relinquish any impact they can legitimately have on a huge part of their child's life. In fact, "MySpace" is now the 6th largest "country" in the world and more than half of the members are under 18 years of age. So, why not ask your teen today to teach you to text or introduce you to MySpace. Not only can this shared experience provide some quality bonding time but with knowledge, you can begin to guide them in what is appropriate or inappropriate in this new world they inhabit.