Adapt or Fear the Worst

Annette & I attended a great conference last week on “Educating the Whole Child.” It focused on the changing needs of our academic structures to meet the challenges of growing up healthy in 2008. The presenters made some interesting points we parents should consider. They talked about the fact that our children are being taught for tests while the drop out rate soars, even among our brightest. Perhaps our schools have not kept up with the rapidly changing technology scene and its effects on our youth. And then I had to ask myself if as a parent, I have done any better. I joke about my ineptness at handling anything more than my cell phone and have only texted my children less than a dozen times, even though that seems to be their chosen mode of communication. So, like academia, I seem to be standing my ground and refusing to adapt to this ever changing tech frontier. One of the speakers even called herself a “text twit.” We all knowingly laughed but shouldn’t we also be a bit uncomfortable with our apparent lack of expertise?

Is he Alive and Still in Spain?

Annette and I spend a lot of time at workshops talking about the teenage brain. The recent research on their neurological development has proved to be so helpful to both parents and professionals. As the parent of a teenager, I remind myself often that whatever he is going through is normal but I can still get exasperated at times. Our son is in Spain right now on a trip with his high school, immersed in the language and the culture for one month. Before he left, I reminded him that it would help reduce my fear level considerably if he kept in touch. I knew that the school he is attending there makes their computers available to the visiting students every afternoon. I did not expect to hear from him daily but this has been ridiculous. He has been gone for 8 days now and we have only received the minimum of information from him. After not hearing anything from him for at least 4 days, we receive an email this morning that literally has 12 words in it. He states that "lots is happening" but does not let us know what any of that could be. I understand that his prefrontal cortex is not working at full tilt yet but really. Doesn't he understand that his parents across the ocean would require or hope for more than that? So, just understand from someone who lectures on this information on a regular basis, they can still drive you crazy.

Real Fears

My 16 year old son was pretty frustrated with us last night. He and his friends planned to go to the Rays game and then head downtown to watch the fireworks. The problem was that they were going to be driven by one of the 16 year olds. Apparently, every one else's parents were ok with that. We were not. After a heated discussion, his friend picked up the other two boys and drove to our house so we could transport all of them to and from the game. I have to admit that there were moments last night when I regretted our rigidity and thought it might just be safe enough to let them do it their way. But, we decided to go ahead and be the designated drivers. It amazes me that other parents are not as concerned as we are about these newbie drivers. We seem to be the only ones who just say no, at least in my son's group. Yet, 36% of our teenagers between the ages of 16 & 19 die in car accidents annually. (It is the leading cause of death among this high risk age group.) In 2004, a total of 4,767 of our teens died that way and 400,000 went to emergency rooms with injuries. Your teenage son or daughter is 4 times more likely to crash than an adult driver and our sons are 1.5 x's more likely to have a fatal accident than our daughters. The risk gets significantly higher with each passenger they add. My husband and I feel like the statistics back up our cautious attitude. I wonder why so many parents worry so much about something as statistically rare as a child abduction but let their teens get behind the wheel without giving it a second thought...