No Dad. You Can't Write Me a Note

One of our readers and mom, who works in a Florida College, shared the following funny story with us:
I don’t know if I have any tips but my daughter is graduating from high school this June—so I can relate to the challenges of launching children to college.

I do have a true, funny story to share: My daughter recently told me a story about one of her friends who had graduated last year and was attending FSU. The student wasn’t feeling well one day—part of it was due to being homesick and so she called her dad back home in Miami. The father told her to call in sick to class and drive home for the weekend. The daughter replied that she couldn’t do that—because it wouldn’t be considered an excused absence. The father replied, “Of course it will be—I’ll write you a note.” The daughter laughed and said, “Thanks, Dad—but this is college not high school.” The daughter got a good laugh out of her dad’s behavior and said that she immediately felt better and so she went to class that day. I guess the useful lesson here is that humor can brighten someone’s day and can also help solve lots of issues! I also like the following quote from Meltzer: “The difference between stumbling blocks and stepping stones is how you use them.”


- Nancy Kelley, Student Affairs Administrative Manager, St. Petersburg College- Downtown Center

Don't Buy them 4 Cars

I teach life skills to about 35 men & women on Tuesdays at Goodwill Correctional Facilities who have been court ordered into this 6 month drug rehabilitation program. I learned something interesting today that I wanted to share while leading a counseling session for about 12 of them. The young people in this group who are between the ages of 18 & 30, started to talk about the different ways their parents affected them as they were growing up. What shocked me was that a whopping 5 out of 12 stated that they believe they were spoiled as kids. By spoiled they meant that they did not really have to work for what they got & that they were often given privileges they had not yet rightfully earned. One young man went on to say that his mother bought him a total of 4 different cars between the ages of 18 & 21, replacing each one after a crash or malfunction even if it was due to his lack of care without ever trying to hold him responsible. Something to think about, isn’t it?

AHA Moment

The following post was submitted by one of our readers:

Here is my parental ‘AHA Moment’: When the girls were 4, I decided I would cut their hair. Never gave it a second thought. I placed Kyle in front of me and cut her hair, which was a little past her shoulders to right above her ears. My decision was based on how much they fussed when it was time to wash it. So let’s just cut it.

After cutting Kyle’s hair, I placed Dana in front of me and started to cut…I got half way through and she asked me, “Mommy, what are you doing?” I thought this was such a silly question since she had just seen me cut her sister’s hair and we had been talking about it. So I replied, “I’m cutting your hair” to which she replied, “Did I tell you that you could cut my hair?” Well to say I was shocked is an understatement. All I could think about was that I had a child’s hair cut half done and what would my husband, mother and mother-in-law say when they saw this mess….so I began to plead with her and tell her how easy it would be to wash her hair and how much fun it would be if she would just let me finish…to which she replied, “Okay”. When I was done and she got in the tub to wash it, she said, “Mommy, you were right”.

Well the moral for me was: All children have opinions….and it never occurred to me to ask for it…..ask your child’s opinion…in the end you will do what is prudent, right and best for them, but ask anyway!

Graduation - Just Around the Corner

In my private practice the soon-to-be college grads are showing up nervous as jitterbugs, and not that far behind them...their parents. Wow, this is an exciting and scary time. For some in 6 months the student loan payments are due, for others the scary thought of moving back home. What to do? Where to go? How to pay the bills? Oh, and I still have finals. Yikes! Parents are stressed about other matters. Should we help pay for graduate school? What about their living expenses? Are they ready to move in with their significant other? How much say should I have in their lives? More Yikes! Well over the next few weeks, Barbara and I are going to be asking some respected professionals for their advice and posting it for all to read. Keep checking back with us. And take a few deep breaths.