Brain Wipe

Annette & I devote a lot of time speaking on the topic of adolescent & young adult brain development. We try to help parents & professionals gain insight into the neurological realities of the developing brain. (You can find more detailed explanation of this information in our handbook, “Blast Off – Launching Your Child to College & Beyond.” A key to remember is that our job as the adults in their lives is to normalize this challenging stage for them as much as possible. I try to remind myself & our son as often as possible that the real reason he forgot to close the door to the refrigerator was that he was the innocent victim of a brain wipe! On a good day, he laughs and rolls his eyes at me but I swear it helps both of us put this all into perspective. (And then I still make him go back in the kitchen & close the door.)

Good Reads

Parents are always asking us to recommend good reads. The following are some of our favorites:

* Blast Off:Launching Your Child to College & Beyond - by yours truly :)
* 12 Simple Steps Real Moms Know, Borba
* Systematic Training for Effective Parenting, Dinkmeyer
* Loving What is, B. Katie
* Raising Cain, D. Kindlon
* Ready or Not, Dr. Mel Levine
* Bowling Alone, Robert Putnam
* Generation Me, Jean Twenge
* Transitions, Reiter and Rhode

Summer Vaction - Part II

Don’t be surprised if they don’t come home this summer exactly resembling the child you knew & loved when they left in the fall. This first year away can instigate some testing of new identities and give them a remarkably premature sense of independence, even though you are still paying all of their bills. We have heard from quite a few families in the past that their cherished daughter or son returned home for the summer with some newly acquired and somewhat annoying habits. Some will be almost eager to correct and point out your shortcomings where before college they just seemed to turn a blind to you. Just try to keep in mind that this is a normal part of the stretching process and will probably pass. They are trying on different identities and comparing you to some of the other authority figures new in their life. Think of it as another leg on their journey towards maturation & independence.

Summer Vaction - Part I

Before you know it, summer break will be here and a lot of those college students will be heading home to wreak havoc on any new structure you put into place in their absence. Now would be a good time to start some relaxed conversations about their summer plans and coach them a bit in setting some achievable goals while being somewhat aware of the rest of the family’s needs & wants. This is the time to discuss everybody’s expectations to cut down on surprises this summer. If money was a source of contention between you this school year, the upcoming break can be a good time for them to work and save up for any additional expenses or creative spending ideas. Some of my best learning experiences during my college years came from the different part time jobs I managed to work at while gong to school. If nothing else, a few of them showed me what I definitely did not want to spend the rest of my life doing! We would love to hear about some of your summer job experiences so please share…

Saying Goodbye

A very touching song by a dad saying "goodbye" to his college kid.